I knew there was something suspicious about that cow


On a social visit to the west country I was confused to see off the motorway a field of boxes disgused as cows! With this on my mind I went to see llama HQ. To my horror the interogation of the cow had revealed some disturbing results. it turns out that the cow eyeing me suspisously in the corner of the field was in fact a llama in disguse!!!!
 
with shoulder pads to accomodate his rather large neck he has been standing there watching me. The disguse must have been playing havoc with his spikes! I don’t know who he is on where he has come from but it appears that my mission is now more important than it has ever been before. The llamas have landed and are using a field off the m5 as their changing room, to disguse themselves as cows and infiltrate this world I have been so sucessfully spying on.
 
with an evil glint in my eye…. Spikes at the ready
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counter espionage


it has been a while mainly because i forgot all about this blog but also because i have been involved in a rare and terrifing mission! it was with tremendous bravery and skill that i have managed to once again remain watching sheep in a field without my rather dubious cover being blown. The sheep are no longer my friends and the cow appears to be waiting to attack me. He hides in the corner of his field and eyes me suspicously whenever I walk by!
 
So to my mission one of deadly daring and increedible incoherance. It came to my attention that the armodilos were indeed vital to my plan to become queen of all england and ruler of the world. The sheep had betrayed me and I needed to hide! The armadilos came in the darkest depths of the night to smuggle me across the boarder into devon, here I posed as a mountain goat for a month and a half whilst the world looked on. I knew that I had had a narrow escape. It was whilst climbing the craggy rocks of the cliff sides that I noticed a strange and mysterious land that would otherwise have been hidden from me. And so I ventured through a hole in the cliff and into the centre of the earth.
 
Here I battled and showed bravery beyond imagining but I won’t bore you with the details. Needless to say I am back, I have spiked, I have nibbled and I have caused an unswevering amount of myschief! Once agian i find myslef back in my field with the sheep defeated and once more my allies the cow needs some work but all in all i am chewing grass and watching over the land once more, ready for action.
 
trees find it very tricky to grow underground
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so the mission in near completion


Today as I was wondering around my new field chatting with some sheep, for now I have figured out their language they are an amazing source of information on this land I now call home, it became apparent to me that these humans will be so easy to rule that the armadillo masters might allow me to be Queen then I can wear a crown.
 
I have now grown the blue stripes of an adult llama and am mastering the trick of hiding behind very thin objects such as lamp posts. this is much easier than I expected and have managed to infiltrate the city on many occassions. on one of my missions I did leave the sheep unattended mistakenly thinking that the cow on the other side of the fence would watch them. Cows notoriously bad at watching sheep. Anyway my poor little sheepies where rudely chased by a small dog and all a fluster when I returned. Luckily they had calmed themselves before the farmer arrived and so my cover was not broken.
 
dancing on a tightrope whilst juggling
 
disgraced
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well here i am


SO this is a blog, i have no idea how to use this but there we go thought i would give it a go anyway. As a llama i have only just mastered the use of a computer and my typing skills are in need of improvement but i will persist and attempt to update you on my life.
 
This week i have mainly been frolicking in a field in Bristol, i was rudely captured in my homeland of peru as a gound llama and brought to England to work as a sheperd, because apparently i look after the sheep. Of course my real purpose is to spy on the human activity of the inhabitants of the United Kingdom. It is only once i have a full and true understanding of their race that i can return to my homeland and report to the armadillos.
 
My spying activities generally include climbing scafolding and waiting for people to walk underneath before throwing myself backwards down one of those large yellow tubes in an attempt to spike the people walking underneath. what this actually achieves i am not sure but it does make people weary and that is really my only mission.
 
so i am off back to my field to look innocent and pretend to watch my sheep, watch out for you earlobs
 
disgraced 
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